Blue: The Project
Whereby Heidi realizes her ambition to be a nice soothing color...

Preface

I didn't want to have to write about this. But you demonstrate an inclination to arrange sentences in a crowd-pleasing order and suddenly everything becomes material. Suddenly there are no actions without analysis, explication, reason -- and certainly none without photo-documentation.

Here I am, hurtling through time and space, my functional identity so clearly indexed and neatly numbered that the physical object upon which fine fundamental universal forces are at work no longer even exists outside the realm of recorded observation and really, I ask you, can it possibly matter any more what color I am?

I just want to be a different color. A real color. Blue.

I just want to be blue. Maybe for a month. Maybe for a few days. If it works well I can branch out later. Maybe be orange or yellow -- maybe burgundy. But in the meantime I'm being reasonable. I aim to be blue for New Year's Eve. It's going to make choosing a dress rather difficult but, as they say, there is no beauty without a little pain.

They do say that don't they?

This is a desire I have. To be blue. There is no rationale for desire. The goal of desire is fulfillment but the fulfillment is a fact and the facts are vulnerable and open to examination. So shall we begin?

December 9, 1998

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